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Tragedy Strikes

  • plitle
  • Apr 17, 2023
  • 6 min read

ree

April 17, 2023


Dear Friend,


We are still in shock and find it impossible to truly comprehend, even though more than four weeks have passed. On Friday morning, March 17th, I was woken up by a phone call just before 6 am. I stumbled out of bed, got to my phone and saw that our oldest son, Josiah, was calling. I answered the phone with, “Hello son,” only to hear Josiah answer me with the words, “I just killed Dasha.”

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Daria (Dasha) Litle

Thus began what feels like an unreal nightmare. Heidi and I dressed as quickly as possible and arrived at Josiah and Dasha’s apartment shortly after the police and ambulance got there. Eventually Heidi was asked to enter the apartment and wake the grandchildren who, thankfully, were in a deep sleep. She and two police officers brought them to our car where they sat for more than an hour and a half in their pajamas as we waited.


Eventually the police decided we could leave, and the social workers asked us to take the girls to our home. Two social workers and the psychologist from Roni’s school accompanied us. They discussed with us how to explain to the girls what happened. And then we sat the girls on our laps and Heidi told them that there had been an incident at home; that Abba had hurt Imma; that Imma was seriously injured; and that their Imma had died.


It all seems unreal and impossible to believe. At three years of age, Shir seems to keep expecting that we’re going to see her mom. Five-year-old Leeya understands and occasionally says, “My heart really hurts.” Seven-year-old Roni asked her grandmother, “How could Abba do this to us?” Roni’s question is one that all of us keep asking. Overwhelming sadness, sorrow and grief meet with times of anger, disbelief and an inability to comprehend how Josiah could have done this and how this could have happened.


Our granddaughters– Roni, Leeya and Shir – are now wards of the State. They’ve been temporarily placed with us while Social Services works through the process of making a permanent foster care placement. We’ve tried to learn their routine without Dasha or Josiah’s help and the girls appear to feel secure with us even in the face of missing their mom and dad. They sleep and eat mostly well and experience many moments of happiness – but these moments are punctuated by extreme sadness, hurt, sorrow and grief.


Despite the challenge of parenting three young children, we feel it is best for the girls to remain in our care. We have requested that they be placed with us permanently. Over the past weeks we’ve met a lot of new people – social workers, teachers, counselors, friends of the girls and their parents, as well as a lawyer representing the State of Israel. Many of them will serve on the committee responsible for formulating the State’s plan to care for the girls’ welfare. This committee’s first meeting is scheduled for April 18th and its report will be presented soon afterwards to a judge who will be responsible to issue orders regarding their permanent care.


Our children have been at our side during these past four weeks. Elishua arranged a leave of absence from his studies and joined us here in Israel on Sunday, March 19th. We were also joined by Heidi’s sister, Lori, and her husband, Randy, on that Sunday. Dasha’s funeral was held on Tuesday, the 21st. Attendance was limited to family and a select groups of friends from different aspects of Dasha’s life so as not to overwhelm either her father Anton or the rest of us. We then arranged to sit Shiva at the congregational building along with Anton during the remainder of that week. Many people came to offer their condolences and mourn Dasha’s tragic passing with us.

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John Henry Litle

Adding to our sorrow and grief, my father fell at home on March 20th, breaking several ribs. After two weeks in the hospital and two surgeries, he came home on hospice on April 3rd. He went to be with the Lord on the 4th surrounded by family. Due to our circumstances, Heidi and I were unable to leave Israel to attend the funeral. Instead, Hannah and Noah represented our family at the funeral, with Noah serving as a pall bearer and Hannah reading my reminisces at the funeral.


Dasha’s murder has been a very public event here. Our family has once again been in the news. We’ve tried to ignore the press – refusing multiple requests to be interviewed and attempting to ignore what was being broadcast and printed. Like any such tragedy, there have been those who have sought to further their own agenda, spinning the news to fit their narratives. Unfortunately, this includes some who once were leaders in the Messianic community who are now attacking the faith, our congregational leadership and the body of Messiah as a whole, sowing discord and division.


This has been a test for our congregational leadership, which is also sorrowing and grieving, asking the same questions that we are and equally unable to come up with answers. Members of the congregation have had questions regarding what steps we had taken to protect Dasha while trying to help resolve the problems that had arisen in their marriage. Shmuel and the leadership needed to address these issues by clearly iterating our stand as a congregation regarding violence, marriage, media and authorities.


Josiah has been in the Kishon Detention Facility since March 17th. This past Friday morning Heidi and I saw him for the first time. It was a very difficult morning for us as we emptied our pockets of everything, went through a security screening and body search before sitting down opposite a glass barrier to speak with him on phone system that barely worked. We brought what he asked for: clothes, a towel, his Bible and a photo of their family. We heard that he is on anti-depressants and on suicide watch; we listened to his confession, to what he believed to be true and left wondering how he will deal choose to deal with the guilt.


This coming Thursday afternoon we will gather at Dasha’s grave to unveil her headstone and mark her 30 day memorial. Please be in prayer for us as we continue to mourn the loss of our precious daughter in the Lord whom we so greatly miss.


As you pray for us, please ask the Lord to:

  • Give Heidi and I patience, discernment and wisdom as we seek to parent the hurting hearts of our lovely grand girls and point them to the Lord and His comfort.

  • Guard the hearts and minds of each of the grand girls from erroneous beliefs about themselves, their parents or about the Lord, especially in regard to where they place blame.

  • Give our children – Hannah, Elishua and Noah – the ability to confront the wounds they’ve received twenty years ago and now again in loosing another sister through murder. Pray that they find the peace and comfort of the Lord in their souls as they pursue emotional and spiritual healing.

  • Move the hearts of those given the authority to choose where to place our granddaughters to grant us the role of their permanent caretakers.

  • Strengthen us to be able to handle the many decisions we are facing regarding all aspects of our lives from living space, schedules, relationships, Josiah and Dasha’s possessions, apartment and financial obligations.

  • Direct Josiah’s grief to be godly, that it would be a grief that will produce “repentance that leads to salvation” as opposed to a worldly grief which “produces death” (2 Corinthians 7:10).

We have never been more desperately in need of your prayers. We are exhausted each evening as we struggle to just get things sorted each day. The girls need lots of time spent interacting with them, hugging and cuddling them between their play times. Emotionally, they need us to be close, available and present. And while so many people have offered their help, they just can’t be us, as we are what the girls need most right now.


Thank you so much for your faithfulness in standing with us in this time of need.


Yours in the Messiah,

ree




Phil and Heidi


P.S. There is so much more we could add. You can access more at the following links:

 
 
 

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